in spirit and body
by bloody muggles
Summary: And for the first time in his life, Sirius feels truly free.


round 6 for quidditch league fanfiction

* * *

.

 _there's lighting in your eyes_

 _and_

 _thunder in your chest_

.

He glides through the white infinity of clouds, unsure of what he will find. His inborn curiosity and restlessness pushed him to move forward even though he must have been going for hours now. He feels no fatigue, no need for water or food. He simply exists now, his emotions keeping him warm. He wishes to see them and speak to them. He knows they must be here. It will be too cruel of fate if she has taken them from him in death too.

Sometimes he hears voices but they are too far away, too hidden for him to figure out when they come from.

She told him it would not be easy.

There is nothing ahead yet. No sign of anyone on anything but him and he starts to feel a bit desperate and sadness starts to creep in. He can't imagine anything more terrifying then being alone again with his own thoughts. He has so many regrets and so little happiness left in his heart. He will go mad.

He stops and sits down, just because he is sick of standing straight and not because he needs it and thinks. She didn't say anything else, only that it will not be easy to find them.

'You must do something first, Sirius,' she told him, her eyes looking at him almost tenderly. 'You must seem him first,'

"But who?" he asks the silence and almost expecting an answer. Maybe she is listening. Maybe she will help.

There is nothing.

He sighs and stands up again. He doesn't know how much more of this he will have to endure. Loneliness is something he's experienced enough. Pain... despair, desperation. All too familiar. He wants to be free.

He needs to be free.

"Please.." he whispers out loud for no one to hear.

"Sirius?"

He is startled at hearing a voice so close to him in so long. He turns and his eyes widen and his heart starts to beat rapidly as he stares at the young boy, almost a mirror of him but not quite. His youthful features and the hopeful look in his eyes are a throwback to days he wished not to remember. But he is glad to see him.

"Regulus," he says and he smiles a bit, because his brother is whole and well.

"I've come to tell you I'm sorry," his brothers says and his eyes are earnest and staring at him straight, wide and insistent Sirius sees the regret. "I was an idiot. I was foolish and I let our family guide my life. I should have made my own decisions.."

"Would have they'd been different, Reg?" He asks, almost with no anger in his voice anymore. He has no strength to fight at the moment. Maybe it is time they make peace.

"Maybe not at first," his little brother says and he looks away. "But I'd have come to my senses much faster. If I had been stronger and more like you, maybe I'd still be alive," he smiles sadly. "Maybe Voldemort will be now dead,"

He frowns. "What do you mean?"

"This is a story I'm going to tell you another time, assumed that you wish to see me again," he says this sadly, almost sure that Sirius will tell him that this is the last they will speak. He remembers the last time they did speak, when they were alive and the harsh words exchanged between the two. Those harsh words had let Sirius to believe that their bond will be forever broken.

But he feels none of this now. He wants to forgive. Maybe it is a part of the process of becoming free?

"Of course," he says. "Don't be daft."

Regulus' eyes light up, exactly when he was young and Sirius decided to pay some attention to him.

"Come on, then," Regulus says and gestures for Sirius to follow him. "I know who you've been really desperate to see,"

Sirius' heart jumps to his throat and he stares at Regulus, unable to move. "Lily and James? Are you taking me to them?"

Regulus nodded. "Come on. They've been waiting for you for a long time. I believe Lily is going to cry for about a day when she sees you, she is gravously upset about Azkaban, you know,"

"And James is going stir crazy," Regulus rolls his eyes and Sirius is startled to see a little fond smile forming on his face. "I believe no one but you is match for his enthusiasm and has a taste for his catastrophic prank ideas,"

"You speak to them, Regulus?" Sirius asks and the happiness that he feels surprises him. He has not felt something like this for a long time.

Regulus laughs. "Oh, there's no getting rid of them now. We're next door neighbours,"

"Neighbours?" Sirius asks and there are so many questions that he wants to ask but Regulus just shakes his head, as if feeling the onslaught of questions coming his way.

"You'll find out everything, Sirius. Don't be so impatient. But you'll enjoy Death," Regulus smiles sadly. "I certainly do way more than when I was alive,"

He notices that Regulus walks through the endless white with purpose, like he is able to navigate his way. Obviously he is, if he is taking him to Lily and James.

The whiteness soon begins to fade slowly to reveal shapes and forms in the distance but more importantly, two silhouettes waiting for him at what appears to be an edge of a village, very similar to Godric's Hallow.

He hears them before he sees them clearly. Lily shouts his name and the emotions that fill Sirius are beyond description. It is beyond happiness, beyond relief.

Lily slams into him, her arms around him tightly and she squeezes, sobbing loudly into his shoulder. James comes towards them more slowly but with a bold step and he hugs them both to himself.

Their eyes meet and Sirius feel his eyes prickle and feels the hot tears fall down his cheeks.

"Hey, Padfoot," James says with a cracked voice, his smile a little crooked. "We've been waiting for you,"

Before Sirus can speak, Lily pulls and away looks up at him with her watery green eyes and her brilliant face. She smiles warmly, something which he has always liked about her even back when he wasn't so fond of her. "Welcome home, Padfoot," she says and hiccups after that.

"Come on," James says, throwing his arm around Sirius' should. "There's a lot of time to explain everything to you, but first..." James smirks. "there are some pressing matters to attend to,"

Lily sighs and gives them a exasperated look so familiar, so loved by him that he almost cries again.

"I'll be at home when you're done and James, please, no more explosions," Lily gives her husband a pointed look, which he accepts with a grin.

"Sure, my love. Besides, Sirius and I are above explosions, we have evolved. Haven't we, Sirius?"

"Whole new species of pranksters, Lils," Sirius said with a nod, the routine coming back easily to him.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Don't stay up too late, boys. I'm making a feast to put the ones in Hogwarts to shame,"

James kisses Lily's forehead. "You're perfect, love. She's is perfect, isn't it?"

Sirius nods, and looks around for his brother. In all the excitement he has forgotten for him. But Regulus is not there.

"He left a while ago," Lily says, as if reading his mind. "I think he wanted to leave us some time to ourselves. Or he's trying to hide from his duties again, which he should've learned not to do a long time ago," the last one is said with a smirk to rival his, and he doesn't envy Regulus at all at the moment. "Well, I must be off now. See you boys later,"

They watched Lily disappear in through the small streets of the village and once she was out of sight, James turned to him and smiled.

"Are you ready to cause all sorts of mayhem, Padfoot?"

Sirius places a hand on his heart. "Honestly, Prongs, it hurts that you're even asking me this. It really does,"

James shrugs. "I don't know, man. You might have grown up, become responsible twat and what not,"

"Trust me, James," Sirius says. "I have not grown up one bit,"

James claps him on the shoulder. "Glad to hear that, because what I'm about to tell you right now it's not for responsible or grown up ears,"

"My favourite kind," Sirius says with a smirk.

"Hey, Padfoot, thanks for looking after Harry,' he says seriously with eyes showing the gratefulness he felt.

A lump formed in Sirus' throat at the mention of his godson. "He's a wonderful kid, James... he doesn't deserve all that's happened to him,"

"Yeah, we'd like you to tell us everything you know about him over dinner. We've seen some glimpses of him but not enough," James' eyes were sad. "Never enough,"

"Of course, James," Sirius said. "Everything I know."

"Right, so, about that plan I have. Are you ready? This is possible the best prank I've ever come up with and there will be no mistakes. Nothing like Fifth Year,"

Sirius shudders at the memory. "I think we agreed not to mention it again?"

"I need you to realise how serious this is, Padfoot, because you have ironically bad time grasping the concept," the last time is said with a grin, which makes Sirius grin in return.

"That's my charm,"

"Sure, sure, so listen, here's the deal.." as he listened to James', admittedly brilliant plan to wreck havoc on the whole village and on section of it in particular, he felt light. Lighter than he's felt in years, maybe ever.

Here in death he has no responsibilities. No roles to play. No parts in any grand plan. There is no complicated schemes and no family issues. It's just him and his friends, playing pranks forever.

And for the first time in his life, Sirius feels truly free.


End file.
